"This is absurd," I muttered—fumbling for a pair of eyeglasses that I mindfully placed on the nightstand before bed. It was in or around May of 2000, and the pace of life rendered me too preoccupied to timely order another supply of disposable contact lenses. "Alright, this is insufferable—where are these things?" I blurted out as I sat at the edge of the bed. "They must have dropped to the carpet," I reasoned--squinting to survey the floor.